My Tools/Her Tools

Scrapbooking seems to require an inordinate number of tools. Some are familiar, like a small ball pein hammer, a hand drill, a punch or awl, but other are inexplicable, purple and green things with a handle on the side, or objects that appear to have migrated from that ‘3rd kitchen drawer’ where all the oddments reside.

From time to time however the tools that Mrs Grendel has are inadequate for the task at hand and she resorts to the part of the house to which I and my hobby have been relegated – the garage.

To be honest, it is not a tidy place, (wait for Mrs Grendel to stick some big ‘UNDERSTATEMENT’ sticker somewhere here) but it is well and truly my domain – this has been made quite clear to me. Somehow though my tools seem to make transit to the scrapbook room, sometimes temporarily but seem appear to have made their final journey and are now in a ‘Hotel California’ for tools.

I’m not too worried, I know where they are when I need them, but occasionally Mrs Grendel needs not only my tools, but me to operate them. Most times I am happy to help, but one project nearly cost fingers to prepare.

Scrapbookers sometimes go online (yeah ROFL – ‘sometimes’) and do stuff together – even these time-challenge things where one person says “lets all make this – you’ve got 15 minutes” and all of a sudden this great panic is on to make this ‘thing’, not a layout but this board with paper stuck to it and a photo all decorated with (OMG) slices of toilet roll inners (the cardboard bit from the middle).

Mrs Grendel of course wanted to get the jump on the others in the challenge so she got me to get the scroll saw fired up so that I could provide here with a collection of these little cardboard rings sawn from toilet rolls.

“Here’s two toilet rolls” she say, “I want you to slice them up”
“In half?” I ask dubiously.
“In slices” she says, “five millimetres each”.
“Now understand” I said slowly and carefully, “that to slice 5mm slices from these flimsy cardboard rolls I will have to have my fingertips only 5mm from the blade and the only thing between my fingers and the blade will be the frayed edges of the piece I am cutting.”
“OK” she said smiling winsomely at me.

Let me provide a little advice at this point to both scrapbookers and scrapbookers husbands. To the husbands:

• Do not attempt to cut rings from toilet rolls with a scrollsaw – it is very hazardous.
  
• If you must – hold the cardboard with something other than your fingers
  
• A cling wrap roll is more substantial (and longer!) so you only place one set of fingers at risk.
  
• Hide the fact that you have powertools if at all possible.

To Scrapbookers:

• Yours is a wonderful hobby, but I am not sure that asking us to risk life and limb will help you to progress to scrapbooking greatness.

Nevertheless, the task was completed, and white and shaking I retreated inside for a restorative drink while Mrs Grendel completed the challenge. Fortunately as she also blogs I can snitch the picture right off the web to post here:

If you want to read her side of the event (as it happened), well you can find that here.