Thursday, 1 February 2007

The Scrap Trap

For a lot of Scrapper’s Partners, the enormity of the beast that is scrapbooking is not immediately apparent. Your beloved says that they are going to start scrapbooking, and we, in our ignorance fondly remember those pulp paged books of paper that we had in Primary (elementary) school days.

Those memories are grim for some of us because our parents had left the school item shopping to the last minute and all of the scrapbooks with covers sporting glorious technicolour images of ‘Transformers’ (or at a pinch Astro Boy) had been seized by the socially savvy parents condemning me and a few others to a whole term with Barbie, My Little Pony or worst of all - the Smurfs.

Even now the horror of it makes me shiver.

Nevertheless, our experience with scrapbooking was one of simple tasks, cutting out, pasting in amid the heady smell of Clag paste and felt tip pens.

It can come as a bit of a shock then when ‘Scrapbooks’ as we knew them make no appearance at all. What arrive are reams of large cardstock in a multitude of colours and patterns that must absolutely never, never, ever be used for:

· Paper planes (but 12x12 inch 120 gsm makes fantastic gliders!)
· Notes while on the phone
· Cutting mats or glue mats
· Coasters
· Impromptu table cloths
· Roll-up fly swatters
· Pillows
· Blotting paper
· Wrapping paper
· Lighting the BBQ
· Etc.

Basically just leave it alone and you’ll be ok.

It doesn’t end there – I have previously mentioned(sing along with me when you figure out the tune):
"the tools and embellishments, the crop nights and scrap days. Forums and challenges, ‘scrap-offs’ and chat rooms. Classes and cruises and on so it seems,
these are a few of their favourite things. . . "

(I really wanted to use “. . .brown paper packages with ‘RAK’ on the front” but I had an obscenity rhyming issue that I just couldn’t get past).

I think you get the picture though – this is a big deal, Ben Hur is a low budget ‘indie flick’ compared to this scrapbooking thing.

So Beware ! Beware !
Her flashing eyes, her floating hair !
Weave a circle round her thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For she on scrapbooking hath fed,
And this should turn your veins to ice.

(Sorry Mr Coleridge!)


Alli said...

so now Alec is back at school and my new scrap room will be ready soon I thought we could get Riley a little scrapping table and I would teach him all about scrapping.. what do you think honey?

"Grendel" said...

Grendel: [books a ticket to North Korea to discuss weapons proliferation with the Glorious Leader. . .]

Diane Roberts said...

Hey Alli - wheres your blog?

"Grendel" said...

Alli does have blog:

but all she talk about is scrapbooking. Oh wait, that is all MY blog talks about.

Dagnammit how did we both come to have scrapbooking blogs?

Chrissie said...

Light. The. BBQ. With. SCRAPPING PAPER!!!!!

Are you out of your teeny tiny MIND?

*Chrissie goes off to find a bag to hyperventilate into*

Lissy said...

And not...under any circumstances touch the scissors!!