I'm starting to understatand how planners at Defence feel when the national leaders announce that we are going to invade someone in a large dusty country with a hostile populace.
Mrs Grendel is going on a scrapbooking retreat and the logistics of the operation would put a peacekeeping force to shame and would not be dissimilar to the recent arrangements for 'W's' War.
There is a pile of equipment, emergency rations, odd shaped cases and a highly secret folder of sensitive scrapping materials.
Then there are the transport arrangements - heavy cargo transports for all the gear and people movers for scrappers.
I've been drafted into the Home Guard for the weekend and will do my utmost to defend our home - with frozen swedish meatballs if necessary.
I have a large stock of coffee beans (well to tell the truth I ALWAYS have a large stock of coffee beans) for roasting which would have kept me at home except I have to make a skirmish to a kids party at one of those really loud kids party places on Saturday.
Now, where's my IPod?