Saturday, 11 October 2008


Morti made a a comment on my last post a few hours back that made me feel guilty - I haven't posted here for nearly six months. I could blame it on being busy, but then even at my busiest I have managed a post each day over at Cafe Grendel. I think what has really happened is that rather than the wild ride that being married to a scrapbooker was a year ago, things have now settled into a balance.

The epic battle for the scrapping space has been won (or lost depending on your perspective)  and while I have not managed to achieve anything bar a home-theatre-government-in-exile I actually have managed to integrate elements of home theatre materiel into the lounge room thanks to a very generous donation by a good friend of some ageing Bose 501 speakers. I also managed to add to this a 30yr old Sony amplifier with the power to make those baby's boom. The "Imperial March" from Star Wars and the deep rolling tones of James Earl Jones now make it seem as if the Dark Lord of the Sith is about to demonstrate his mastery of the force right there in the room.

I have visions of him stepping through the television and looking around in horror:

"Don't be too proud of this Scrapbooking terror you have created. The ability to stick photos to paper with mere glue is insignificant next to the Power of the Dark Side"

He would then proceed to demonstrate the full mysteries of the Sith Style of scrapbooking. 

I wonder if Sith Lords use Creative Memories products? 

One school of thought suggests that these are almost certainly products of the Dark Side in any case, so they would be a natural choice. They also use expansive areas of white paper which would give you a lovely contrast with photographs of either the emperor or yourself (as Sith Lord) in your gleaming black mask.

I just don't see too much variety through the pages though - photos of the Dark Lord walking down the ramp of a shuttle - plenty of those of course. Photos of various planet being annihilated - spectacularly morbid, and even more so would be the photos of Uncle Owen and Aunt Veru and that little visit from the StormTroopers.

I'm sure there would have to be a "Starship Captains I have killed" page, but one agony-creased red mottled face would have to look the same as another after a while.

Worse yet, he doesn't even have copies of the ultra-sounds of Luke and Leia to memorialise.

There would be some advantages. I imagine using The Force to place photos might be considered overkill but imagine the precision!

Still - not exactly a lot of Happy Memories to be found on the bridge of a Star Destroyer and he doesn't exactly seem to spend much time dining with his officers and proposing loyal toasts to the Emperor around a heavily laden 'Captain's Table'.

I guess on reflection no real Dark Lord of the Sith would be into Scrapbooking.

Now a Blog on the other hand. . .


Anonymous said...

I can imagine Darth Vader standing,(of coarse,after all we know Vader is not a sit down scrapbooker)at his scrapbooking table, fondly flipping through his latest minibook, pausing to admire his handy work on the near extermination of the Wookies.


"Grendel" said...

And I can imagine the blog post.

"Ever been to Kyshyyk? wretched place full of trees and wookies. Well not any more! Woohoo, just finished eliminating the worst part of holidays in that place - the wookies.

If you come through the Imperial Palace any time soon - be sure to admire the lovely shag-pile wookie carpets in the dining room. . ."

Anonymous said...

Guests be leary, Vader shows off the pieces of starship that are now encased in shadow boxes lining the stairways of the Imperial Palace, " ...and this piece of the hull was still burning when I found it. Ah. The memories!" he laughs with a slight gasp in the middle.


Morti said...


Grendel - back with a vengeance. Equilibrium has indeed been achieved......